Kim Jong Il, International Promoter of Strict Gun Control, Dead at 69 :: 12/25/2011

With much sadness and tear filled eyes, officials of the peaceful hamlet known as North Korea announced today the passing of the dear leader, Kim Jong Il. Mr. Il is survived by his peace loving son Kim Jong Un and an undetermined number of children spread throughout the country. Our condolences go out to the heart broken country as they prepare to bury Il, who as one US representative has called, "the greatest advocate for gun free zones in the Pacific Rim".

United States Congresswoman Carolyn McCarthy (D-NY), herself an advocate for strict gun control in her home country, was moved by Il's passing. "The dear leader was an icon within the gun control community. Although he was thousands of miles away, his spirit was always with us. His country is a model of what can be done with strong leadership and an unwavering commitment of stopping dangerous guns and deadly bullets from entering society. If only I had a knack for language, I would have loved to summer on the shores of his great land. Congress as you know has many long recesses and land is relatively cheap in North Korea. With proper planning and an adequate food supply, one can live quite well for a stretch of time. Imagine walking the safe streets of a small fishing village on the Sea of Japan, never having to worry about guns. He will be missed"